14^th & 15^th October 2013 - Mackay to Hervey Bay

Sometimes, only an iced coffee on the beach will do.

Today started badly because I awoke with a full blown grump. They arrive occasionally, typically unannounced and for no apparent reason. As I get older, and more at ease with myself, they have become considerably less frequent. However, they are still unwelcome and are often hard to shift. Thankfully, today's journey to the dark side was blown away by Rob, our Greyhound driver for the first leg of our two day coach ride to Hervey Bay.

Spotted in a garage in Mackay. Only in Oz.

We were .lucky and managed to get seats right at the front, well within earshot of Rob, whose cheerful disposition, steady stream of jokes and ideas for setting the world aright, soon had me back at the controls of my x-wing fighter. We were joined by an Australian couple, Frank and Toni, a pair of retirees who, like us, are on walkabout. They are travelling right down the east coast by Greyhound to their home in Melbourne. It wasn't long before they and Rob began to poke fun at each other, they were after all from different Australian states. From what I recall, a Queenslander calls someone from New South Wales (NSW) a Cockroach. A person from Queensland is called a Cane Toad by fellow Queenslanders but a Banana Bender by anyone else. A Sandgroper is someone from Western Australia and a Mexican is a native of Victoria because, to everyone else they live south of the border. Victoria is also THE place to be but, according to Rob, there's usually nobody there because they're always somewhere else on holiday.

 

Jeez, the cane toads are BIG in Queensland.

A Taswegian is, unsurprisingly, a derogatory term for someone from Tazzie (Tasmania). This may not be entirely accurate, I was laughing too much, but you get the idea. It seems that, in the absence of a convenient POM, anyone from another state is fair game.

At one point the banter turned to road-kill, as it invariably does on long road journeys in Oz, and Rob mentioned that on night shifts he regularly spots mobs of roos, some over 100 strong. He also reckons to have to clean 2 or 3 off of the front bumper after most night trips. Grim. He also mentioned that he had spotted his first koala on this run only last week. "Jeez they can move fast. I still managed to squash it though. How much can a koala bear? Not much it seems."

Our apartment in Hervey Bay (top left).

When Rob's shift at the wheel finished he got a resounding bout of applause to which he replied "I've got the clap! I’ve not had the clap in ages"; a comedian to the last.

We finished this day's travel at a motel in Miriam Vale, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of place just off the Bruce Highway. I suspect that the only reason the place exists is that it is equidistant from Mackay and Hervey Bay, and there's absolutely nothing else between. The motel was also forgettable and we were almost glad to get back on another bus the next day. About the only memorable thing in Miriam Vale was the selection of pies in the garage cafe adjacent to our bus stop. Had it not been 8 in the morning I might well have been tempted by a pastry filled with corned beef, prawn sticks, barracuda (fish), crab, roo or croc; Only in Oz.

Entrance to beach near apartment.

On day two of this Greyhound trip, Frank and Toni were on board again so we got to chatting and, as they were staying in the same place, agreed to meet up in Hervey Bay later that week. On arrival, we spent the rest of our first day flopped in our huge apartment on the seafront before getting a take out fish and chip supper from Madigan's, a wonderful blend of traditional chippy and fishmonger. I had beer-battered barramundi and Fo opted for battered sea trout. They can batter anything including soft shell crabs and green-lipped mussels from New Zealand. They're only a block away so I suspect we will be frequent visitors. Oh boy, am I missing the gym.

 

Hell's Grannies, I wonder if they make mobility
scooters like this in the UK. I had to drag Fo away
as she kept drooling on the chrome.

Finally, I think we have decided that any residual romance we might have still harboured about Greyhound travel has now evaporated fully. It's hard on the bum and hips (the seats are narrow), and it is so, so boring. Most backpackers, being 30-40 years younger than us, seem able to sleep at will, which means that they are generally quiet, thankfully. So, once our Greyhound passes have exhausted their mileage, we will use trains and planes in preference to buses. I will also endeavour to avoid using both first person singular and first person plural pronouns in the same sentence or paragraph. But don't hold your breath. It's confusing enough trying to keep track of what the date is without having to worry about correct grammar too.

My apologies for the tardy posting, the internet service at our apartment went down.